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Q: How come I'm always
in the wrong place at the wrong time?
 A:
The only thing that's in the wrong place at the wrong time is your
thinking. It's impossible to be in the wrong place at the wrong
time. I know you've heard all this nonsense about sabotaging yourself,
not listening to yourself, not being intuitive enough etc., and
yada, yada, yada...but it's ridiculous. I want you to know that
What Is does not make mistakes. There are no slip-ups.
You are exactly where you could “ONLY BE.” So, please do not
drive yourself crazy with this lament, “If only I wouldn't have
been there, if only I wouldn't have done that.” Drop it!!! It could
not have been different. Time to learn a different mantra and say,
“If it could be different, it would be different!”
Q: I believe in affirmations,
they have worked for me in the past. Why don't you advocate them
instead of making fun of them?
A: Look, it's not that I don't want you to do them. I just
don't want you to get hooked on them as if they're a magic formula
to get you what you want. It's the nature of thoughts to be just
that –“thoughts that come and go.” And your affirmations are thoughts
that come and go, like everything else in your waking, changing
dream. Sometimes thoughts manifest and sometimes they don't.
Wasting your time and your fun by constantly praying, hoping, repeating,
singing and playing subliminal messages, and writing your thoughts
all over the house in hopes that they'll manifest doesn't bring
you peace or satisfaction. It just causes anxiety and feverishness
in you, wondering when they will manifest and what you're doing
wrong to keep them from manifesting.
Can you see how obsessive this thinking is? Haven't you noticed
how sometimes your affirmations manifest, but most of the time they
don't? And that when they don't manifest, you console yourself with
thoughts like, “Maybe, when I'm enlightened enough or evolved enough,
I'll be able to manifest my desires better. I just need to get more
in tune with myself, more disciplined and focused. Maybe what I
need is to do affirmation on getting more focused, and then I can
get that red Ferrari so I can get to satsang more regularly.
This is your rationalization for spending hours, days and years
being unhappy with what you don't have, hoping someday to be more
abundant and fulfilled. You are wasting a perfectly happy moment,
on the hopes of a better one. Please my darlings give it a rest.
Stop with the useless repetitive affirmations day and night.
Maybe they'll work and maybe they won't, but either way, it is how
It is – and no reason for you to lose your fun. Let life be a surprise,
without your constant desire to control it. Affirmations are actually
fine; like everything else that floats in and out of your mind,
it's your unhappiness filled with expectations that screw it all
up.
Q: All the spiritual organizations talk about “peace
on earth.” When will it come?
A: There are times when it's more peaceful than other times.
But for the most part, peace on earth, the second coming, the age
of enlightenment, the messiah and of course the Matreya are ridiculous
– another way of you avoiding your joy right here and now. However,
if you want to hold your breath waiting for all the promises made
by your so-called “holy channels” or you want to prepare the way
for your next lifetime, good luck!
I've seen you all praying for decades for the great Matreya to come.
I've seen you waste your money on psychic after psychic, hoping
that Merlin or Jesus will save you from the big flood, so you can
be one of the chosen few to see the New Age. I've seen you chanting
and playing your drums, frightened like children, in anticipation
of a “second sun” lighting up the skies and possibly causing heaven
or hell on earth.
If there is a fantasy that can be thought, you have thought it and
made it your very own distraction. Anything and everything to worry
yourself and distract yourself from What Is.
You want heaven on earth? You want peace for all mankind? You want
the Second Coming? Fabulous! Then my darlings, “Shut Up and be happy!”
Q: Can I have sexual desires and still evolve and
get enlightened?
A: Darling, who knows? You ask questions that are irrelevant
to enlightenment. It's a happening – it's all a happening. One day
you're celibate, the next day you're desiring a prostitute, and
the next instant you're a free, enlightened person, living “la vida
loca,” completely happy and free from all your misery. One has nothing
to do with the other.
But in your ignorance, you think, “If only I didn't have sexual
fantasies and desire the girl next door, then I could progress on
this spiritual path.”
I tell you, forget it! There is nothing to struggle with. Have a
sexual desire or don't, make love or don't, either way, your enlightenment
or freedom is a happening, it's a natural occurrence of finally
being yourself, of finally being happy with What Is.
So again, sweet darlings, relax with all this nonsense. Just live
your life and be happy. A desire comes, a desire goes, and it's
nothing to get freaked out about.
Q: I'm afraid if I eat fish or chicken, I won't get
enlightened. My Guru told me not to do those things, but somehow
I still do. What's going to happen to me?
A: What do you think is going to happen to you? Maybe you'll
turn into a chicken or a fish next lifetime and lose your chance
of being enlightened for another hundred thousand million years.
Come on, smarten up – different cultures eat different ways. What's
considered a hindrance in one culture is pure milk and honey in
another.
Now, if you've got a Guru who tells you what to do, great! Listen
to Him, because it gives you peace of mind when you do. However,
if it happens that you find yourself with a piece of chicken in
your mouth — then, hey, swallow it, say thank you, or spit it out
– either way, move on to your next meal in a couple of hours. Remember,
my darlings, “If it could be different, it would be different.”
So, stop getting stuck on every event, and enjoy the unexpected
happenings of your life, even if you don't know what you'll be doing
next.
Q: My friend just recently died of cancer. She suffered
a lot. I just don't get it. She seemed to do everything right (she
was spiritual, prayed a lot, helped other people, loved God). Why
did she suffer so much? Maybe she just didn't have enough faith?
A: See, this is the kind of thinking that keeps you miserable
and in fear. First, you blame other's shortcomings for getting sick
or dying, and then you worry yourself sick that you might have the
same deficiency. No, it's not because she didn't have enough faith
or strength or holy water. It was just her time. Do you get it?
It was just her time! Now, I don't know why she suffered, and I
feel great compassion for her suffering, but again, it wasn't her
fault, she just did.
I know it's hard to accept that, because we want a reason for everything
– but all I can say is that it was written in the script and the
script was played out. All we can do is love them, meditate and
pray for them, and know deep in our hearts that they are truly all
right, because death and suffering are also thoughts, which are
products of the mind.
Q: How can you say it doesn't get any better? I feel
stronger, happier and better now than I ever have.
A: I didn't say it doesn't get better. I said it doesn't
get permanently better. Things will always be changing. Today you're
healthier than you've ever been, the next instant you stub your
toe and are limping with a cast and feeling terrible. Things only
appear to get better, but actually, YOU were always “completely
fine.” It's your life that continues to change from better to worse,
to better to worse, ad infinitum.
Enjoy the better, but don't get stuck on wanting or expecting it
to get better. Just live what comes up and know
it will always change. And, darlings, don't get so apprehensive
of all the changes; it can't be helped, it changes, and there is
nothing you can do about it. So ride the adventure. It's usually
more thrilling than most movies, because you're the leading character.
Q: I'm stuck in my meditation practice. What am I
doing wrong?
A: Again with the “What am I doing wrong?” Nothing. You're
doing nothing wrong. Things are always changing and that includes
your meditation. Stop lamenting your loss of “great experiences”
and just relax. They'll come again or they won't, but who cares?
They don't mean anything anyway, you're just attached to being in
a good space for an hour or so, and you love thinking you're getting
somewhere on your spiritual path. Well, darlings, again, let me
give you the good news! You're getting nowhere fast, with or without
a vision of Krishna!
So take it as it comes and enjoy every meditation for what it is
– a meditation with a lot of different experiences, period. Your
expectations of “peaceful holy visions” just put you into more regret
and inadequacy as a candidate for enlightenment. It's all more nonsense,
full of thoughts that keep you unhappy.
So again, darlings, please, “Shut up and be happy with every meditation
you have!” And remember again, for the millionth time – NO, NO,
NO, you're NOT doing anything wrong! You are just doing what you're
doing.
Q: What's my purpose in life?
A: You think there's a purpose out there somewhere for you,
otherwise life isn't worth living. What you don't realize is that
it's “you” that made a purpose necessary. It isn't part of life's
equation. It's a mind glitch! It's another thought that keeps you
from enjoying your life, living What Is.
Your constant search for meaning, has given you no meaning, only
a never-ending search for happiness. Purpose comes and goes like
everything else. One day you're on a hot new project, the next day,
the project is gone and you're looking for another one to give your
life meaning. Even the so-called “spiritual path” loses its “purpose”
at one time or other.
Purpose in life is an illusion, an ever-changing thought that comes
and goes, like everything else. But your acceptance of What Is,
your chuckle in What Is–that's permanent, and your only true purpose
in life.
Q: I have no discipline, how will I ever get anywhere?
A: Have you ever heard the expression, “You are not the doer?”
I actually think it's an unfortunate expression, because it's so
confusing. It really doesn't make any sense at all. You do, after
all, “appear” to be the doer, even though all the scriptures and
saints say otherwise. Why even the Buddha said, “Events happen,
deeds are done, but there is no individual doer thereof.”
Now, that's all very nice, but honestly it means nothing to most
people, it's just a thought, another so-called “meaningful saying”
to get hung up on. Why confuse yourself with all these theories?
Just assume you're doing it all. However, know deeply with pure
conviction that “if it could be different, it would be different!”
And in fact, there is NOTHING you could have done about it! Period.
Now this thought, although like all the other thoughts floating
around in your mind, will give you peace. Because now you are free
to stop lamenting what you can't do, or didn't do, and start living
in what's happening now. Now you have a chance at discipline and
enjoying it while it lasts.
Q: You essentially said that we don't have a soul.
I can buy that you are your own soul mate. But how is it possible
not to have a soul? It goes against the history of Western Theology.
Of course we have a soul!
A: My darlings, Open your eyes – be revolutionary! Just because
someone tells you something, even someone you read about in the
ancient holy books of yore, doesn't mean it's true. I can't believe
how ignorant theology is – thoughts upon thoughts of ignorance and
hope for the masses so they won't live and die in vain. Such total
stupidity. Darling, don't you want to wake up? Isn't that why you're
here? Haven't you suffered enough with someone else's fear and theories?
Be Adventurous. Be a Hero. Be the one that finally gets the awesome,
incredible joke – then runs up on stage, pulls back the curtain
and shows the grown-up crying children that Lassie didn't die,
it was only a show.
You are greater than a word called “a soul” passing in time and
space. You are Everything.
Q: I can't find a sacred place in my house to meditate
or be in silence.
A: My darlings, you are silence – you don't have to go anywhere
to find it. Close your eyes anywhere and you're in a sacred place.
It's all sacred, every disgusting bit of this reality or any reality
is sacred. It's all radiating from the same source.
So be at peace and meditate in any reality you're in. It's all your
home.
Q: How can things be “only as they can be?” What
happened to free will?
A: Ahh, the “free will” question. You want to exercise your
free will, so you can do what? Eat pizza, instead of eggs? Or perhaps
marry Jane, instead of Gertrude? This free will is very important
to you, isn't it? It's that one big thing that sets you apart from
the ants and turkeys and gives you your identity. You certainly
don't want to be identified with a turkey.
Well, darlings, good news again – although it appears that you have
free will, and you desperately want to be smart and wise enough
to have free will, and you've convinced yourself with all your intellectual
and spiritual knowledge that you have free will – you absolutely
don't even have a smidgen of it!!!
You only “appear to be a big shaker and maker,” but in truth, it's
shakin' and bakin' you. It can only be, as it is, in spite of all
your so-called decisions and choices. But again, even though you
may know with absolute conviction that you don't have free will,
it's still smart to function as if you do. Otherwise, it's just
too confusing and really doesn't make sense, because the appearance
of free will and making choices is so strong.
So relax. What does it matter who has free will, as long as you
accept your “apparent” choices and know with deep peace that, “If
it could have been different, it would have been different.” Now
you can go have fun, without constantly regretting your choices
and boggling your mind with the concept of free will.
Q: I used to be so creative. I'm so dull now. What's
happening?
A: Nothing. As usual. It's just a change, a simple second
frame of the movie. Stop getting so hung up on every little change
that takes place and blame yourself or something else for that change.
It's the nature of life to change.
Sometimes you're creative and extraordinary, and sometimes you're
not. Get used to the idea that everything is in flux and is always
changing – even you. Tomorrow perhaps you'll be creative again.
You don't have to run in desperation to the next seminar or healer
on creativity. Relax. Everything comes full circle and happens in
its own good time. Go to the beach, play with your children, watch
“I Love Lucy”– but please, stop this constant yearning for the past.
Be at peace with what's happening now.
Q: I used to have great meditations, what happened?
It's been months and I'm still dull with the same thoughts over
and over again and no peace.
A: Same thing that happened to your creativity. Again, things
change all the time. It's not your fault that things change and
are different. If you're meditations are lousy, go have fun in some
other area of your life, or (God forbid) stop meditating for a while.
Be adventurous, not so defeated. So what? So, your meditations are
lousy. Big deal. Go have some fun – do a cartwheel or eat a lemon
– that ought to give you a memorable experience.
Q: Why do I keep sabotaging myself? I make a plan,
I promise myself I'll do it, and then I'll go do something else
instead. When will I ever learn?
A: Now. Learn Now. Who told you about sabotaging yourself?
Did you read it in a psychology book? Perhaps it was one of those
“Seven Steps to Spiritual something or other...” Or maybe your spiritual
friends are always complaining about how hard they try to stay on
their path but “keep sabotaging themselves.” Either way, forget
it – another piece of nonsense that got stuck in your head, and
now you've got to try hard to evolve to the point where you don't
sabotage yourself. This is just more mind chatter that you've bought
into, another theory that some Ph.D. student thought up.
How about this scenario: Sometimes you sabotage yourself and sometimes
you don't, and it's all part of the cycle of your life. What you
call sabotage, I call change. Sometimes it goes your way and sometimes
it doesn't. And when it doesn't, you think you did something wrong.
So you run to the nearest book or self-esteem seminar and try to
fix yourself. And it all seems to work until next time, when you
wonder what you did wrong again.
So let me repeat again: You've done nothing wrong, you're not sabotaging
yourself – you're just living your life and your life changes in
patterns. Be with the changes, they're natural. They're the happening
of your life as it is.
Q: You keep saying, “If it could be different, it
would be different.” That means that everything is exactly as it
can only be. Everything is right. How is that possible? How about
the innocent child that's raped or the thousands that are murdered
each day because they happen to live in a war zone? How can that
be right? Can't we take responsibility and place blame and then
demand a change? If we don't take responsibility, the atrocities
and injustices will continue, and it will be our fault, my fault.
A: It is heartbreaking to see the unhappiness in the world
and the “apparent” injustices. And it is heartbreaking to see the
guilt and misery and blame that people live with. It's all heartbreaking
– from a baby's first cry for milk to an old man's last cry for
breath – life is heartbreaking. Like every classic drama, life is
filled with raw emotion and every possible scenario of joy and misery
in a scriptwriter's imagination. Nothing is left out in one of Tolstoy's
screen dramas. And like every finished movie, once it's put on the
screen of life – it is what it is.
You watch the show in awe and amazement, anticipating each new frame.
Sometimes you want to change a story line, but you can't alter the
movie from where you're sitting in the audience. All you can do
is watch the show – sometimes with tears of joy and laughter, and
sometimes with tears of horror, fear and anxiety. Either way – it
is what it is – and you're helpless to do anything about it, except
stay for the ride until the movie is over.
In life, when tragedy strikes, you're also in for a ride that you
can't change. You feel helpless, and you curse your fate and your
circumstances. “If only I could do something, if only I could change
my prior actions, maybe I could change the outcome,” you cry.
But, I tell you, this feeling of helplessness is your greatest blessing
and ticket to peace. The more helpless you feel and the less you
struggle to change what can't be changed, the closer you are to
accepting the exquisite, peaceful truth of, “If it could be different,
it would be different.” Then you could stop blaming yourself and
others and finally drop the bitter heavy load you've been carrying
of guilt, regret, and “if only's.”
War and all the other atrocities in life are what they are – the
unfortunate horror of a particular drama, a natural happening. If
your character is one that works towards alleviating misery and
injustice, then you will focus your life in that direction – serving
where you can, offering what you can. However, you will only do
what your character is structured to do, what is possible for you
to do.
Now, if you want to do your part and serve efficiently in this world
without freaking out every time it doesn't go your way, or doesn't
go well in general, you will need to go into the depth and presence
of your new “Serenity” mantra. And with a full helpless heart know
–“If it could be different, it would be different.”
Q: How do I combine my spiritual life with raising
a family? I don't have time to meditate, and the kids are always
taking me out of my peaceful state.
A: You are Peace. Relax. Your very nature is peace and spirituality.
Meditate when you can and don't worry about it when you can't.
Meditation may make you feel more peaceful, or not, but either way
– it's another “cool thing” that you do. Enjoy it when you can and
the rest of the time have fun with your family and kids. This is
your life, the only one you've got right now. Be with it. And remember,
“You don't get spiritual, you are spiritual already – it's your
very nature.”
Q: You're always talking about “the waking dream”
or it “appears to be.” What are you talking about?
A: Things are not always as they seem. I was sitting on my
sofa one day when the colors of the rainbow appeared on my hand.
I looked at my hand, and it really looked as if those colors were
permanently painted on. However, when I moved my hand they disappeared,
because the sun's reflection didn't shine there anymore. Yet, when
I put my hand back in the light, the rainbow appeared, and the colors
again “appeared” permanent.
Appearances can be deceiving. Some things that appear permanent
are in flux and in changing illusion. We appear to be moving on
stable flat ground, but in reality, we're moving in space. You're
standing on top of the world walking around in pure space. If gravity
didn't hold you down, you couldn't walk to the nearest Starbucks.
You'd be floating in space without your cup of coffee.
In the same way, we appear to be living a meaningful life full of
joys, disappointments and purpose. And we appear to be in the school
of life, moving towards enlightenment or preparing for the life
hereafter, or whatever...but the appearance is far different from
The Real. The truth is unimaginable and impossible for your mind
to comprehend. You'll have to go beyond your mind into the deep
space of What Is to recognize the waking dream and fathom the incomprehensible
illusion of the hypnotic Divine Maya.
Meanwhile, my darlings, relax. This life, your waking dream, is
up for reexamination and discovery. Somewhere along the line, you'll
notice a rainbow reflection on your own hand, and wonder very deeply
how it came to look so permanent?
Q: According to many well-known New Age thinkers
and healers, you're not in control of the events that happen to
your life, but you're in control of how you deal with those events.
That suggests a degree of control and free will. Could you comment
on that?
A: Honestly, I don't know what they're talking about. It's
sounds like goobly-goop to me, another theory to peddle to
people so they can feel safe and in control. THAT which structured
the events, also structured how you dealt with those events. You'll
notice that when unexpected things happen to you, regardless of
your spiritual or psychological training, you'll deal with things
differently each time. Sometimes you handle things well and sometimes
you don't. Either way, relax with the results of your attitude or
actions. It is what it is. The events couldn't be different and
your thinking and reactions couldn't be different. So forget all
this third-rate psychological mind manipulation to feel safe and
in control. In reality, you're already safe and the Big Kahuna is
in control.
Q: I know it's all a waking dream, I know no one
ever dies, but my son was killed in an accident a year ago and he
was all alone when it happened. I can't seem to get that image out
of my mind, and my knowledge falls flat when I think of him. What
can I do?
A: Do the Art of Living Course – and darling, know you're
loved. That Big Beautiful Peace that you are has enveloped you and
your son. Both are safe in the arms of What Is.
Q: I'm scared of my anger. I don't know what I would
do if I didn't harness it.
A: It's your fear of getting angry that's driving you crazy,
not the anger itself. When was the last time you harnessed anything?
Did you stop yourself before saying that stupid thing, or did it
just come out? Did you stop yourself from getting angry when your
husband left the toothpaste out? If you examine your anger, you'll
see that sometimes you could harness it and sometimes you couldn't.
You're going to have to trust me on this one, and relax. Don't get
so caught up in what you do. Do the best you can, and then relax
and move on to the next moment without the same old mind tape of
misery and regret. Say, “I'm sorry,” try not to do it again, and
continue with your daily adventure.
Q: Why can't everyone be more loving? If they would
just try a little harder, the world wouldn't be in such a mess.
A: Darling, have you tried to be more loving? I assume you
have. Has it worked? If it has, congratulations. Now go out and
try to force everyone else to be more loving. Does it work? Is it
a loving thing to do? Are people more loving due to your efforts?
Don't bother to try and change others – just try being loving with
yourself. If your mission in life is to be more loving, go for it
– but leave others alone.
The world isn't in a mess because “we're” not more loving. The world
is in a mess because that's what the world does...it goes in and
out of messes. Our job and peace is to accept the mess. However,
if your system is inclined to clean up the mess, then you'll be
out there with shovels and peanut butter sandwiches, helping the
mess police...and that can be a very loving thing to do, instead
of forcing others to be more loving.
Q: You said people don't have a purpose? Do Gurus
have a purpose? I read my Guru is here for a mission, that his mission
is to bring a certain number of “souls” back Home.
A: Darlings, I'm blown away by your desire to believe everything
you read. Where is home? And what happens if he doesn't meet his
quota? Do “they,” whoever they are, take away his Gurudom? What
nonsense! The Guru is everything – absolutely everything. He doesn't
have to “do” anything; He is everything. Home is our very nature,
it's not some place to go. It's WHO WE ARE!
Believe what you want, but why fill your mind with other people's
old stories, when discovering your own story is so much more fun
and meaningful. Discover the Guru for yourself. Write your own Guru
stories.
Q: I heard that my Guru is the reincarnation of Krishna,
Jesus, and Shiva. He hasn't denied it, so it must be true. Can you
comment on this?
A: Let me say it again. The Guru is Everything. Past, present
and future. So, if you want to call him Krishna, Jesus, Shiva, Shankara
or Pancho Villa, be my guest. How about discovering who the Guru
is for yourself?
It's so boring and easy to say, “Yep, there's Jesus again,” or “Yep,
there's Krishna dancing with his gopis again.” Why not wonder about
this vast blissful sight and presence called “the Guru?” Be a little
adventurous. Grow some...(you know what I mean), or at least grow
some mistletoe and kiss yourself under it. Think about something
outrageous instead of the same old recycled religious and spiritual
fabrications. Wake up!!! It's time to delight in the fragrance of
newly discovered roses.
Q: How can you say that we
don't learn lessons before we become enlightened? In the Bible,
there's the story of Job and the lessons he had to learn. And even
Jesus had to go through his trials before he came to God. What do
you have to say about this?
A: Nothing. Darlings, believe what you want, what else can
you do? However, if you're asking me, I say, “Shut up and be happy!”
Why in heaven's name would God need to test you? He is everything,
knows everything about you and what you're capable of, why would
he need to test you? Think about it. Honestly, it just doesn't make
any sense. It's your imagination again playing old tapes from the
archives of past memories. Drop all this barrage of useless thoughts
and come into the cool, vast freshness of the Here and Now.
No one is testing you. You're free to have fun and live your life
without this constant nagging discomfort, feelings of inadequacy
and struggle. You're Here. You're already free, and you passed the
tests before you were ever born. Now live in peace. It's your very
Nature.
Q: One more question. If in fact peace is our very
nature, why are we so restless?
A: Because.
Much love to you all, Dvorah
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